Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I feel detached from society, like I don't belong?
I am 20, so I'm quite young. I know I am weird. People have told me that I am a hippy, that I think like one. I know I do not think like everyone else. I think and contemplate a lot about life. I day dream way to much that I end up losing a sense of reality. Sometimes, I wonder if there is truly a reality. I start thinking how screwed up and superficial this world is and it makes me not want to be here. I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong era. My friends have told me that I should have been born in the 60s/70s or around the wild wild west times. I have a hard time relating to people and it doesn't entirely bother me. I don't understand why we have to follow the mundane routines that are laid out for us. They do not make sense to me and in general have no meaning to me. This ends up causing a lot of fights among my family and friends sometimes. My dad gets mad at me because I refuse to work 40 hours a week during the summer since I find it pointless and a waste of my time. He is trying to conform me to be like everyone else and its annoying me to no end. I get really frusturated with him that I have to leave before I yell at him. I hate how our world operates. I just want freedom, peace and love, which is something we do not have in our society. I am not interested in following what is expected of me in society because it doesn't fit who I am. It's like that song Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder: "I knew all the rules, but the rules do not know me." I don't do anything illegal though. It has comet o this point where I would love to live in a hippie commune. I need advice please. I don't know what to do :( I'm not lazy I work hard in whatever I do.
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